The Allen Family

Taylor was born in at just over 4 lbs with both eye and ear deformities that were corrected by surgery by age 2. It was fortunate that his birth mother gave a full and honest history after his birth, admitting to drinking a 6 pack of beer most nights with occasional binge drinking and hard liquor throughout her pregnancy.

Cathy and Mark Allen adopted Taylor when he was a day old. Doctors at the state medical university were consulted and indicated the baby boy would likely be fine but may have some mild learning disabilities! We figured we could handle that!

Throughout Taylor’s early years his teachers told us he could not concentrate, listen or follow directions. Learning disabilities, we thought! He scored high on all of his tests so we weren’t worried. In 2nd grade we were asked to have him tested and he was diagnosed at Johns Hopkins with ADHD. The doctor told us his mother’s alcoholism was irrelevant, and Taylor scored too well in standardized tests to have FAS. We figured we must have been wrong. Taylor remembers only constant reprimands and punishments from those years and the daily panic he felt trying to be good.

By middle school he was picking up and bringing home all kinds of items. He weaved convincing stories to explain it and we totally believed him. He was a warm, funny and sweet, so it just didn’t make sense that there could be anything else going on. We eventually began to find stashes of hundreds of lighters, knives, gadgets and baubles. By high school there were phones, Ipods and he had begun stealing money. Taylor was arrested in 7th grade for bringing a small pocket knife to school and suspended for 2 weeks. The police interview scared him to death. When he went back to school, we found another pocketknife on him! A week later the same thing happened. That’s when we knew there was something seriously wrong, and we began working with a counselor. Unfortunately, we were unaware of how significantly his emotional and mental health had been affected by the constant façade he had to put on to get through each day.

We tried to educated teachers, his counselor and his doctors. Taylor was teased and picked on and we made the school take action. But his anxiety and depression had become severe. We had another neuro-psych test done, but by then we had had empowered ourselves with research on what was now being called FASD. The doctor agreed and diagnosed him with ARND. After reading numerous papers on line by Dr. Paula Lockhart who ran the FASD Clinic at Kennedy Krieger, I was told she wasn’t able to take any more patients. I got her email and told her all about Taylor. She contacted me and told me to make an appointment. All Taylor’s anxiety and fear, all of the things he had been afraid to talk about finally found an understanding and supportive ear. We heard it all- and we were shocked!

This was also the same year we met Kathy Mitchell and became involved with NOFAS. We couldn’t believe there were other people with the same issues. Why didn’t anybody else seem to know about it?

Although we become knowledgeable and able to speak successfully to the education system, no one looked at Taylor and believed he had brain damage. He was too smart and well spoken-on the outside he looked like every other kid his age. Taylor reached rock bottom in 10th grade after we requested another meeting to evaluate him for an IEP. At the meeting, the special education teacher gave him a 5 minute lecture on allowing his parents make excuses for behavior which was no more than complacency and laziness on his part. She told him to step up. Taylor’s despair was apparent. When we got home, Taylor cut himself all over his body with a razor blade and ended up in the Johns Hopkins Psychiatric Ward. When he finally came back to school, teachers started listening. From that point on his school counselor called a meeting for all Taylor’s teachers each quarter, and allowed us to give a half hour presentation on FASD.

But years of stress and fear had already taken its toll. Taylor was arrested for felony breaking and entering in an abandon building. He had been leaving school and hiding all day for week’s .He suffered a total breakdown â?¦and his second stint at Hopkins.

We worked hard to get him into a special school his senior year but it was not easy. Finally, the school agreed to admit him into the County’s Homewood Alternative School. Taylor thrived! His unique and special “qualities” were recognized and he became a successful peer counselor. Taylor graduated and was asked to be the student speaker (valedictorian) at his graduation ceremony, where he had many parents in tears with the heartwarming story of his struggles and successes.

That year Taylor began speaking as an advocate for NOFAS as well. He has spoken at several conferences and seminars on FASD and loves to talk to a crowd! His specific experiences with FASD and the mental health issues that affect many who suffer with fetal alcohol spectrum disorders seems to resonate with people in a different way than when they hear it from a specialist or practitioner. Taylor has just completed a two yr. training in Electronics Systems Technology and will get his AA in April 2012. We are helping him look for a job in this field and getting him whatever assistance he needs to accomplish that.

He plans to continue advocating for others like himself and to educating doctors, counselors, teachers, pregnant women and his peers, about the devastating effects of drinking alcohol during pregnancy. He certainly has a lot to say, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.