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NOFAS is deeply saddened by the sudden death of our dear friend and former colleague Erin Frey. Erin was only 38.
A medical doctor, Erin joined NOFAS in 2007. She immediately added to the organization’s credibility and success while boosting enthusiasm in the office with her lively personality and passionate energy. Erin listened NOFAS Vice President Kathy Mitchell speak at a conference and was determined to join the NOFAS team and do all she could for the cause. She quickly became essential, traveling around the country speaking to doctors and clinic sites about alcohol and pregnancy, FASD and addiction, and keeping the programs and the program team on track. Of course, Erin’s most important contribution may have simply been her spirit and the outsized scale of her character and magnetism.
NOFAS offers our deepest sympathies to Erin’s family and friends.
If you wish to offer condolences to be posted on the NOFAS website, please contact Brianna Montgomery. Join Erin's family and friends for a celebration of Erin's life on Monday, January 31, from 2:00 -6:00 pm at Ft. Belvoir Officer's Club. Everyone must have photo identification to get through the gate, including passengers.
The Ft. Belvior Officer's Club is located in Building 20, 5500 Schulz Circle (near Mason Road & Woodlawn Road), Fort Belvoir, Virginia, map.
Reflections on Erin
Dr. Erin Frey was not just a colleague who happened to work at NOFAS. She was part of our NOFAS family, she was and will always be our "sister." Working with Erin made our jobs colorful and fun. She was a ray of sunshine, and the love within her heart glowed from her eyes and her beautiful smile. When Erin was at NOFAS, I would arrive for work at the NOFAS office and would barely have had time to get my jacket off and my bags down, and in would rush Erin. Her arms would be extended, her smile glowing from ear to ear, and she would embrace me and lock me into her Erin-Bear hug. Initially, I tried to convince her that this was unprofessional, and she did not need to hug me each morning. Well, there was no way Erin could hold all of the love that was in her heart in her little body. She just had to share it, and I learned to accept that this was who Erin was, and all of us at NOFAS loved that about her.
She loved working at NOFAS, and she especially loved to share with others her message of recovery. Her spirit and enthusiasm for her job was exceptional and refreshing. We at NOFAS are most grateful to have had an opportunity to be part of Erin's recovery journey. Although we missed her when she departed from NOFAS, we were all delighted to watch her grow, and eventually find a position where she could use her M.D. and make a lot more money than she could ever make at NOFAS! We are heartbroken over Erin's passing, and already miss her terribly. She lives on with us at NOFAS, and will never be forgotten. I believe that each one of us that were touched by Erin are all better people for having known her. I know that today NOFAS is a better organization thanks to the daily joy that Erin brought to us all.
Rest in Peace, My Friend, My Sister,
Kathy Mitchell, NOFAS Vice President
Erin was a wonderful mentor and a great friend of mine. I will always remember her laugh, her smile and her beautiful heart. Her cheerfulness brought happiness to my life and the lives of everyone that met her. Erin was not just my colleague; she was a wonderful friend who I could talk to about anything. I miss her already and hope to see her again someday in a different time and place. I hope you have found peace, my friend.
Brianna Montgomery, NOFAS Program Manager
All of the staff at the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) who had the pleasure to meet Erin were deeply saddened by her untimely passing. I deliberately use the word “meet” here, for anyone who has meet Erin immediately “knew her” and felt her enthusiasm and the strong personal energy that she always exuded. In the few years that she served NOFAS Erin had visited NIAAA on many occasions – serving as the NOFAS liaison to the National Advisory Council on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism; as a NOFAS representative to the Interdisciplinary Coordinating Committee on FASD, and attending many meetings and conferences where the issue of preventing FASD, and treating those affected by FASD, was a key focus. For myself, as I am sure is the case for others from NIAAA and the FASD research community, Erin was not just a colleague – rather we have lost a close and personal friend.
Kenneth R. Warren, Ph.D.
Acting Director
National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism
National Institutes of Health
Department of Health and Human Services
We would like to express our deepest condolences for the loss of such a bright soul. Although we did not ever get the pleasure to meet Erin in person, we thoroughly enjoyed working with her through many, many phone conversations and e-mails throughout her time at NOFAS. Erin was truly a pleasure to work with and even without meeting her in person, her lively spirit and enthusiasm for this field came through clearly. It is with great sadness that we learned of Erin’s passing. We hope she is at peace.
Elizabeth Dang and Catherine Hutsell
CDC’s FAS Prevention Team
The NOFAS staff is always excited and anxious when interviewing potential new colleagues. We’re both energized and apprehensive about finding someone who is resourceful and productive, and at the same time the right fit for our small office. Both of these emotions bubbled over with Erin.
Actually, I’m not sure she was even formally hired as much as she imposed her personality, smarts and enthusiasm on us and the organization. Whether to hire her was not an option. She knew this is where she wanted to be and needed to be, and she got right to work. She immediately raised our authority and the energy in the office, lifting our standards and expectations. We knew that with Erin there was no so much more we could accomplish.
A few weeks after she started she asked for a raise. Well, that was a little different, but of course there was very little common about Erin. First, she was completely and utterly sincere. She always expressed herself in the most complete and genuine way on all professional matters and the things about herself she wanted to talk about—which was most everything.
After three years inevitably she left NOFAS for bigger and much better opportunities—we were lucky to have her as long as we did. NOFAS and each of the staff missed her terribly. We certainly missed all she did for NOFAS and the cause, but most importantly her daily companionship as an intimate friend. That loss was nothing compared to not having her in our lives at all.
By the way, she got the raise, and she deserved it.
Tom Donaldson, NOFAS President
I am so saddened to hear this news. Erin and I met each other at several FASD events during her years at NOFAS (including the now infamous “Obama-in-the-Hotel” BFSS in Albuquerque!), and she was always practically ready to explode with her ideas and curiosities and passions about how to make her world a better place for women, kids and families. You could see her smile coming from the other side of the room. She has been a reminder to me that we can lead with our passion and our enthusiasm – we don’t have to leave that at the door when we do our work. Many blessings to Erin, and my heart is with all of her family and friends as they carry her spirit with them.
Laura Nagle
Erin had one of the biggest hearts of anyone I have known; she had that rare gift of connecting with and seeing the best in others, especially those who really needed it. She was always ready with a smile, a hug. She cared deeply about persons living with FASD and their families, and her passion encouraged us. Our lives have been changed indelibly by Erin; we are grateful for the gift she was to us, and we will miss her.
The Mabie Family
I’m so sorry to hear of Erin’s passing. My girls and I met her at one of the Hill Day events (2008 I think) and she made a lasting impression on both Katia who has FAS and Angela, who is typical. What stood out about Erin in my memory is that she went out of her way to help Angela feel special even though it was kind of Katia’s “event.” Katia had been in a local newspaper article and was kind of a local celebrity before Hill Day and though Angela is a fabulous sibling she felt a little low that she wasn’t getting a lot of attention. When we met Erin she picked up on this, and as Erin traveled to see our legislators with us she became Angela’s pal. It takes an extra special person to be able to empathize with someone like that, even in what was a very hectic day for her. Angela was only 7 years old at that time.
Felicia Demchuk
She was an angel with the biggest heart that could be. She would do anything in her powers and she always gave 150%. I never met her in person but talked several times via the phone or internet and she always had the right answers. She gave me hope to not give up on my adopted boys that are fetal alcohol syndrome. I will truly miss her.
Kim Carter
It's so hard to imagine a world without Dr. Erin Frey! I had the privilege of knowing and working with her from her NOFAS years onward. Her compassion, humor, energy and dedication were invaluable to the Birth Mother’s Network/ Circle of Hope. Erin and I shared the challenge of being women physicians on an unconventional path- we teased and laughed and wondered at ourselves, our profession, and the world. My friendship and fellowship with her made me a better sister, wife, mother, daughter, doctor, and friend. She will always be a little sister and fellow warrior to me and I hold her in my heart. Until we meet again!
Mary DeJoseph
Erin at a NOFAS dinner.
Erin showing her sense of humor.
Erin with Congressman Patrick Kennedy.
Congressman Norm Dicks and Erin.
Erin with Brianna Montgomery.
Erin, Brianna and Kathy Mitchell.
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