The daughter of an alcoholic father, Carol Pines avoided drinking while growing up, perhaps because she was too busy acting as a caregiver in her family. However, witnessing her father’s disease only taught her the wrong lessons and proved that, indeed, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
After marrying very young, Carol had two beautiful children and lived with her family in Connecticut. Her marriage, however, quickly deteriorated and Carol turned to the only coping mechanism she knew of – alcohol. This made matters worse and her marriage ended in divorce when Carol was 30 years old. Just as the marriage was ending, Carol’s father passed away, (after being in recovery from alcoholism for six successful years). This devastating combination was too much to handle and Carol once again turned to her own drinking for council.
While Carol fell deeper and deeper into her alcoholism, she still managed to remain highly active and eventually met a new man – David. In an attempt to fill the void of her ex-husband, Carol and David moved into a big house together. From the outside, everything looked perfect. Then, Carol became unexpectedly pregnant with Christina. Although she tried to curb her alcohol consumption while pregnant, Carol continued to drink the entire time and did not receive prenatal care until the final month of pregnancy. Drinking approximately 2 to 3 drinks every night, Carol was never told to stop imbibing throughout her pregnancy.
When Christina was born, it was immediately clear that things were not right. Christina’s legs were not fully in their hip sockets and she was extremely colic. With the help of her doctor, Carol got Christina into a harness for her legs and fed her goat’s milk for the first year to ease her colic behavior. Looking back, Carol is convinced that Christina was colic because she was going through alcohol withdrawal. However, life went on, Carol continued to drink and her family began to truly deteriorate.
By the time that Christina was five, she was walking, but intellectual and behavioral delays were evident. At this same time, Carol’s other two children were very distant from their mother and David decided to leave. After their breakup, Carol hit her rock bottom. Living in a condo with just Christina, Carol called her family and asked for help. Her mother took Christina in and Carol went to a 30-day inpatient rehabilitation center. It was no cake walk, that’s for sure, but Carol was finally on her path to recovery.
After returning from rehab, Carol turned to God and her church for support. Carol also attended meetings to deal with her alcoholism and found a sponsor. It took time to admit that Christina’s problems were a result of her drinking. Christina’s psychotherapist told Carol that Christina had FAS, but that news was not easy to hear. After a month of ignoring the therapist, Carol and Christina finally went back. This time the doctor was stern and told Carol that Christina had no future unless Carol began to fight for her daughter. A week after hearing this, Carol went to a meeting and finally began talking about Christina’s FAS. Carol was met with open arms and immediately found other birth mothers. By pure coincidence, Carol met a 45 year old woman who had FAS and was happily married and living an independent life – and she was also named Christina! This moment was a breakthrough for Carol and she was finally ready to start fighting.
From there, Carol began listening to her doctor and advocating for Christina. No longer caring about other people’s opinions of her, Carol was openly discussing Christina’s FAS in order to get the services that Christina needed to thrive. In a community that keeps FAS and alcohol issues very hush-hush, Carol was a trailblazer and began a special needs network.
Today, Carol is surrounded by a wonderful network of support, family and friends. Carol has a stable job as an insurance agent, continues to fight for Christina and work in her community, and has been sober for seven years. Christina is a thriving teenager. Christina attends an exemplary high school, has many friends, runs track and is active in her school. Carol’s journey has not been easy – she will be the first to tell you that. However, Carol knew that if she herself did not get clean, her daughter would never have the chance to succeed. For Carol, she believes that it doesn’t matter where you’ve been, but instead that you are doing the right things in your life in the current moment.
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